– SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour.
– COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
– FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
– BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.
– TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
– SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
– A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. Business seems pretty good.
– AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
– A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
– A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You go on strike, organize a riot and block the roads because you want three cows.
– A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow image called “Cowkimon” and market it worldwide.
– A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
– AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows but you don’t know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
– A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
– A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
– AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. You worship them.
– A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. Both are mad.
– AN IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the fu****g out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.
– A FILIPINO CORPORATION: You have 2 cows. One is reserved for the wedding of your son. The other one you give as bribe to your politician. You are looking for money to buy rice and milk.